Thank You Honest Parents

So as y’all know, I’ve been struggling with the idea of parenting & whatnot for the bulk of the year. I’m still ever grateful to all those Twitter, Facebook, & real life parents who’ve been willing to honestly share the downsides of parenting. I’m not sure why the majority of folks (at least in America) feel that they MUST always tout the awesomeness of parenting & how they feel nothing but wonderfully blessed to be in charge of raising tiny humans. (o_O) Sure, kids are great, but damnit, they’re pretty damned evil for a good part of their lives. It’s not that they set out to be hellians, that’s just part of the growing up process. Quite a few parents have told me (usually with a most despairing look in their eyes),

“I love my kids to absolute death and I wouldn’t trade ‘em for anything. However, if I had really known what all goes into parenting beforehand, I probably would have made a different decision.”

And you know what?

That’s okay!

I bring all this up as a preface to my superawesome story from today.

My field placement is at a program that provides homes for youth experiencing unstable housing. I would tell you more about it, but safety first. One of the young ladies who just completed the program is helping me conduct an evaluation. While she is pregnant. With twins. Twins who are due next week.

I could go into the myriad reasons why I absolutely adore this young lady (besides the above), but I’ll save that for another post.

When I met mom to be, she shared with me her fears & concerns about parenting. She remembers her own childhood difficulties and sees how her peers are not doing the best things for their kids and has decided to break the cycle. But she is worried. And rightfully so. How in THEE hell does one prepare to become a parent? One does not prepare; one builds community and one prays. Unfortunately, this young lady hasn’t really had anyone with a positive parenting experience to help her own & address these fears.

So I told her all the horrible things that y’all have told me.

*sips tea*

 She feels MUCH better now. (N.B.: I’m a rather decent empath and not too shabby of a social worker; PLEASE do not try this at home!) Mom to be is quite relieved that she’s not the only person who has felt the way she feels. She is also glad to know that, while there are PLENTY of great and awesome moments, one of her fears is true: it gets to be pretty bad, parenting wise.

I told her that this is one reason that I wasn’t all that interested in having kids. Who wants to deal with all that? But then I shared a bunch more stuff that can basically be summed up this way:

Today, mom to be gave me what I think may be the best compliment of my career. We’re paying her for her involvement in implementing the evaluation, but her check has been delayed. I updated her that I’d have it for her this week and she said,

That’s cool; what I’ve enjoyed the most is talking to you after we finish the surveys. I learn a lot from you and every time we get done talking, I go home and call my friends to tell them what we talked about. I really appreciate all that you’ve shared.

I am STILL grinning over that! I mean, THIS is why I do what I do. I even get to stick around for her & visit (read: check in & support her) after the babies are born (of course, I asked!) And, for those of you wondering, my ovaries are so besides themselves that they almost passed out. I ain’t even mad.

*squeals of giggles*